Merry Christmas!!

Thank God I still meet the Christmas this year. Thank God all my family are healthy. Thank God I still love myself, thank God I'm still breathing..

This year, I pass the Christmas, feel lonely and annoyed by my semester test :( Imagine that in 26th Dec I have to go through two exams! And one of them is so so so difficult for me. Well I had plan to visit my sister in Malang, but I decided to cancel it because of that... exam. 

So here I am, pray alone at my room, got no family by my side, no "Holy Night" song on my ear. I just feel so lonely. And I kinda miss my ex, not in loving way duh, but I want to see him, talk to him like we're just friends and nothing happened with us. Maybe its just the habit that I spent most of my days with him, and HOP! More than two months we didnt see each other, and well.. I kinda miss him. Maybe we should forgive each others, and begin the friendship from the start again. But maybe it won't happen in next months, because of some reasons...

And I feel lonely. Did I say that for couple of times? :p 

I feel empty. Like I want someone by my side, but he won't. And I already accept that reality. He feels just... so far away. I miss him, for sure. But strangely when he's around, I freezed and my body heated up, so I decided to get as far as possible from him. Duh :/

I feel relief that I have a lot of friends now. I won't be alone. Just hangout, run the chatting, it makes me feel that I AM HERE. But strangely I cried this night. I dont know, maybe because I'm... lonely? Wahahahaha you'd just get bored with me writing "Lonely" hehehehe.

Merry Christmas all! Hope you don't have the Lonely Christmas like me :) God Bless you all